📦 PROTECT YOUR PARCEL – BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS A PORCH PIRATE ATTACK!

Look, we trust our couriers, but the world is a wild place, and parcel theft is on the rise. One study says over a billion parcels go missing every year. That’s a lot of sadness in cardboard form. 😢

We do our best to keep your goodies safe by using reputable couriers and providing tracking on all orders. But we need your help!

👉 Nominate a Safe Place for deliveries so your parcel isn’t left out in the open for any passing raccoons (or humans) to snatch.*
👉 Using UPS? We STRONGLY recommend signing up for UPS My Choice—because tracking your order in real-time is kinda magical.*

If anything goes wrong, don't panic! Contact Eddie first (our Customer Sales & Service Manager) at hello@godmachine.co.uk, and she’ll sort it out like a shipping wizard.

*If you don’t take steps to secure your delivery, we may not be able to process a claim for any missing packages. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

🌍 INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS – LET’S TALK DUTIES & TAXES

(aka, that annoying extra charge no one likes but exists anyway)

💰 What Are Duties & Taxes?

They’re extra fees your country charges when your parcel arrives. We don’t make these rules, we just live with them. Costs depend on:
✔️ The value of your order
✔️ What you bought
✔️ The country of origin (a.k.a where the stuff comes from)

✨ Why Prepay Duties & Taxes? (You’ll Thank Yourself Later)

✅ Convenience – Pay everything up front, no customs surprises.
✅ Faster Shipping – No customs delays = your stuff arrives quicker.
✅ No Hidden Fees – You’ll know exactly what you’re paying.

🚀 How to Pay at Checkout:

1️⃣ Add your items to the cart.
2️⃣ Enter your shipping details.
3️⃣ Choose a Delivered Duties Paid (DDP) shipping option.
4️⃣ Pay once, worry never.

❓FAQs

❓ Do I always have to pay duties & taxes?
Not always!* Some countries waive fees on lower-value orders. But even if your order is under the threshold, UPS & DHL might charge a brokerage fee for handling it. If you pick DDP, this fee is waived.

❓ What happens if I don’t prepay?
You’ll have to pay the fees on delivery, which can mean delays and extra handling charges. And no, we won’t accept returns just because you don’t want to pay them [Additional fees may apply]

❓ Can I check the fees before checkout?
Yes! If you pick a DDP option, the checkout price includes everything. No nasty surprises.

*Even if your order is under the threshold, carriers might still charge fees. We don’t control customs, but we do sympathize.

🚚 SHIPPING INFO – CHOOSING YOUR COURIER

(Not all couriers are created equal, so here’s what you need to know.)

UPS – Super reliable, but no PO Boxes or Military Base addresses allowed. Enroll in UPS My Choice for ultimate tracking power.

ROYAL MAIL – Classic & trustworthy, but read the fine print. PO Boxes and Military base allowed.

📍 UK Orders: Tracked 24 & Tracked 48 aim for 1-3 days, but delays happen. If your order hasn't arrived in 5 working days, check with your neighbour or local post office. If it’s still missing after 10 working days, hit us up.
📍 International Orders: Expect 5-7 working days, but delays are common. If it’s been 10+ days, check customs or your local post office. If it’s still lost after 15 working days, let us know. (Royal Mail only classifies a package as lost after 25 working days, so patience is key!)

DHL – Fast, efficient, but also no PO Boxes or Military Bases. Some addresses may be classed as ‘remote’ and will get hit with a Remote Area Charge (we know, it sucks).

🔄 WHITE LABEL GOODS – A QUICK HEADS UP

Some items are made and shipped directly from our trusted third-party supplier. If you mix white label and core products in one order, you’ll get two separate shipping charges (because they’re shipping from different locations).

Whenever possible, we ship from the fulfillment center nearest to you. But sometimes, stock levels mean your item ships from further away—and in rare cases, that could mean import duties. Check product listings or ask us if you’re unsure!

⏳ SHIPPING TIMES – ESTIMATED, NOT GUARANTEED

Courier estimates are listed at checkout, but remember:
⏳ Processing time = 1-2 working days (excludes weekends & some public holidays).
⏳ Shipping times = Courier estimates, not a legally binding prophecy.
⏳ Customs can cause delays, and we have no control over that.

🔍 TRACKING – DON’T LET YOUR PARCEL PLAY HIDE & SEEK

We’ll email you tracking details once your order ships. Keep an eye on them! If something looks off, contact us ASAP.

📍 SHIPPING ADDRESSES – GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

We ship to the address provided at checkout. If you spot a mistake, tell us immediately! Once your order is on its way, there’s no turning back.

🔄 RETURNS – WHEN PARCELS BOOMERANG BACK TO US

If your order gets returned to us, you’ve got options:
🔄 Reship it (extra shipping charges may apply).
💸 Get a refund (minus the original shipping cost).

We’ll always contact you first to figure out the best solution! If you didn’t provide an email, we’ll refund the order automatically (minus shipping).

🎁 OUR PROMISE – WE CARE ABOUT YOUR ORDER (AND YOU)

We check, pack, and send everything with love (and cardboard). But sometimes, things go wrong. It’s not personal. It’s just life. If your order arrives damaged or if it's missing, tell us.

🚨 In extreme cases, we will sacrifice a forest demon in your honour to make things right. 🚨

💬 NEED HELP? TALK TO EDDIE!

If you have questions, concerns, or just want to say hi, email Eddie (she/her) at:
📧 hello@godmachine.co.uk

She’s lovely. Don’t be shy. 😊